By: Natasha Oates Award-Winning Therapist, Keynote Speaker & Retreat Host
A few years ago, I vowed that I would never say, “I built an amazing business empire and all it took was the end of my marriage.” Let’s face it; the odds are against marriages. We all know that divorce is happening on every street. But the question is, what are you willing to do not to let it come to your front door? I challenge you to work and think more intentionally as a married business owner.
Here are 5 Tips for Married Entrepreneurs:
Owning a business means accepting that some of your days will be filled with high levels of stress! Balled up in a corner, worried about the outcome of your latest investment/venture type of stress. When we have high levels of stress: blood rushes from the part of the brain that thinks logically to the part of the brain that is impulsive and emotional. This leads us to Rule #1.
Rule #1: Have a weekly routine to relieve stress.
Sound too simple? It’s so easy to get overwhelmed and to become a moody ticking time bomb or a distant grouchy spouse when you have so much on your plate from multiple directions. You can end up overreacting and taking out frustrations on your spouse. Instead take them out on the treadmill, a yoga pose, or a card game with the fellas.
Ever heard that marriage is all about good communication? Yeah, me too. Considering the complexities of owning a business, the risk/expenses, the countless hours, and yeah sometimes even the lack of profit: communication is extremely important! Which leads us to Rule #2.
Rule #2: Have honest conversations about how the needs of the business will affect the family
Now, this is where many entrepreneurs would much rather bury their heads in the sand than discuss this. If these discussions are avoided, then they will likely come up explosively at a time when you’re not prepared or ready to discuss. Let’s face it, when you’re sharing household expenses, financially planning for your children’s college, and both of your retirement, these types of discussions are important to have. Let alone when you have pressing business concerns that need more of your time than usual. Be upfront about the time frame that’s needed for you to complete tasks for the business.
FYI Rule #2 won’t work without following this next one on boundaries. Any person with healthy self-esteem will NOT continuously be put on a shelf without eventually emotionally or physically choosing divorce.
Rule #3: Have a no-work zone
You didn’t become a business owner to neglect your kids and piss off the Love of Your Life. It’s important to carve out time for your children and spouse ahead of time. Don’t let date night die. Find out how often your spouse wants a date night and make it happen! Team no excuses.
The business takes up a lot of your time and energy. The last thing you should do is constantly talk about the business with your spouse. Remember Rule #4 during date night too:
Rule #4: Know when to zip your lip
You are passionate about what you do. So passionate that you’re constantly thinking, strategizing, and maybe even constantly talking about your business too. Keep in mind that your family goes through sacrifices too when you’re working on your business. It may be upsetting not only to have to have less time with you because of the business, but also the time that they do have you’re STILL talking about the business! That’s what business besties are for.
We get comfortable after being married for a long time. Too comfortable. Especially when time and energy is often limited. Here’s the last tip:
Rule #5: Do the things you used to do
That’s right! Those things that put a smile on your Honey’s face. How are you dressing and keeping your hair? What do you do to make them feel appreciated and loved? Think of them as a customer. Have you delighted them? As business owners, we know that it’s much easier to keep a current loyal customer than to attract a new loyal one. So set the goal to have an amazing marriage and like your business goals hit a home run. Remember your spouse is going through challenges too and they more than deserve the extra effort.
Let’s get connected! Reserve your spot NOW for The Love That Lasts Fall 2022 Retreat in Durham, NC for a weekend of fun couples activities, life-changing seminars, and a moving recommitment ceremony. For online or in-office relationship coaching reserve your session with relationship expert Natasha Oates. Hire Natasha for your group’s retreat event by emailing: natasha@upcompany.org or calling or texting 980-285-3833.
