3 Common Mistakes Couples Make

What He Doesn’t Know Won’t Hurt Him. Couples keep secrets from each other for a lot of reasons. Maybe out of fear of judgement, fearof not being able to make decisions without pushback or even out of something missing intheir relationship.Whatever the reason keeping secrets in your marriage leads to the possibility of broken trust.So whether its, secret social media accounts or messages, hidden money or accounts, secretlunches or phone calls with the opposite sex: trust can become easily broken.Once trust is broken, it is difficult to repair. As yourself, is that secret communication with yourex worth it? Secrets usually point to opportunities for you to get your needs or concerns takenseriously in the marriage. Instead of seeking attention, security or excitement outside of yourmarriage. Make sure you are making your spouse aware of what you specifically need to findfulfillment in your own home.

So Your Kids Are The Boss? We sacrifice so much for our children: sleep, money, time and patience. One thing you do notwant to sacrifice is your marriage. It may be a difficult balance at times, but pay close attentionto the ways that your children may be putting a strain on your relationship.Some common ways parenting habits can become problematic to your marriage:

Children sleeping in your bed instead of their own bed regularly.We understand that some families value co-sleeping and the safety protocol of havinginfants sleep in your room. It’s important to consider, after the toddler stage, whether thissleeping arrangement is impacting your sex life and evening quality time as a couple.

It is problematic is when parents aren’t on the same page and the child becomes confusedwith what the expectations are or put one parent against the other. It’s normal for couples tohave different discipline styles for their children.It’s okay to be different, but children need structure and solid expectations in order tocreate good behavior habits. This requires parents to have conversations and create a jointplan apart from the children, so that when they approach the children it minimizes confusion,conflict and ongoing behavioral issues.

Children not having a reasonable and consistent bedtime.Not only does this cause challenges in the bedroom, but this also impedes on your ability tounwind after work. When we don’t have time for ourselves we can become irritable, impatientand burnt out. Which impacts not only your personal wellbeing but your relationship’s as well.

Are you Petty in Your Marriage? Do you often feel the urge to get back at your spouse when your feelings have been hurt? Having constant power struggles as a couple can create chaos and arguments. This is whencouples can’t agree on spending habits, quality time, parenting and boundaries. During these disagreements some couples engage in name calling, belittling, cursing, yelling, constant denial of wrongdoing and blaming each other. These come from pride. Our pride can get in the way of a long lasting, loving marriage.
Written by: Natasha D. Oates, Therapist & Relationship Coach

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